Do want to blogging tapiii... I'll post smua-muanya hari Senin malam,
inshaAllah, bila Allah mengizinkan. If Senin ga terlalu hectic ya aku
post Senin malam, kalau ga ya Selasa.. If Selasa ga bisa juga ya
Rabu.. Ya gitu lah. Tapi yg pasti, aku bloggingnya malam, itu pun
kalau ga bawa kerjaan kantor ke rumah. Hehehe..

Nite nite.. =)

Assalamualaikum..

Since my computer is down I thought I cant blogging again. But I was
wrong. Apparenly, I can still blogging through my cell phone. Watta
mobile wonders.. Really thankful for this one.

Surfing and blogging have become a part of my life. Felt in the funk
when I tot I cudnt do the two daily activities. Surfing and blogging
thru cell phone may not as comfortable as using pc, but whatever.. As
long as I can do both Im happy. As long as I can read my sisters' blog
Im happy :)

Now Im on the go. Ew, really enjoying this...

Really, I dont feel I have objectives in my life. Ever been in this
kind of situation before but I forget what does it feel before.. I
forget how could I handle the situation and could through savely.. In
fact Im still exist and health, alhamdulillah. But the worst situation
is now attack me again. Im perfectly sad and totally dont have any
idea what to do. Sometimes I feel that Im weak, just like now. Really
weak as I feel dont know what to do and lost motivation.

Sometimes, I want to hide from the dearest. Run away from him. You
know, in this situation like this I feel sooo ashamed to meet even to
talk by phone to the great people such as him and my best friends.
Especially the dearest, I do ashamed to talk bout this again to him.
He says it's fine. That's what one of the uses of his existing in my
life. But, I cant! One of my bestfriend has just sent me text. She
said that I should apply to Ernst & Young as a junior auditor. light!
But it starts a new thing to be contemplated by me again. Argh, what
happened with me actually?! What a heck! Seems I cannot read and
understand what my logic's saying.

Astagfirullah...

The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) instructed his companions that
when they go to bed they should supplicate:
[Sahih al-Bukhari 11:126, Muslim 4:2084, abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhi,
an-Nasa'i, ibn Majah]

Bismika Rabbi wada'tu janbi wa-bika arfa'uh. Fa'in amsakta nafsi
faghfir laha. Wa'in arsaltaha fahfazha bima tahfado bihi
'ibadikas-saaliheen

Translation:
In Your Name, O Lord, I lay my side (to sleep). And by (Your Leave) I
raise it up. So if You take away my soul (during sleep) forgive it,
and if You send it back (after sleep) protect it even as You protect
Your pious servants.

*

Nothing's to do on this Saturday night. There's no good film or show
either on tv. Bored! This fourth session of Indonesian Idol doesnt
attract me (and fam) at all. Last years me, mama, and papa used to
watch it as our must-be-watched-show. Im watching Harry Potter and The
Prisoner of Azkaban actually. With mama, he.. Ive watched for... Ntah
ah, forget! But Im kinda bored to watch it again. Im wondering, why I
never get bored to watch the trilogy of The Lord of The Rings, ya? Tho
I lost count how many times Ive watched them, but the trylogy always
success to enthuse me to watch them again and again, hehe..

Anyway, gotta go. The moony has been waiting for me. She can not wait
to sing me her another starry lullaby :)

Assalamualaikum..

Phew, I just arrived at home. Tired! Hot outside. Tho the workshop
just until 12, but it seems that it took for hours longer than that.

No proper post today...maybe. I dont know later. I want to take a nap
for sure. Hope will be better later...

Really wanna see the firework with the dearest.. But I cant. He still
can see, while I? Aahh.. C'mon.. It's in Brunei!

Sigh...

Assalamualaikum..

As Im starring at the beautiful charming crescent moon now, I hear my
parents and my bro laughing out loud. They're watching Empat Mata,
hehe..

Talking bout moon, this Night Princess has so many things whch attract
me. The dearest and I, both we love the moon and the sky. It doesnt
matter whether the sky is empty without stars and moon or it is full
with glows. Sky, moon, stars, clouds, and sun mean so much to me.
Seeing the sky make me feel contented, spacious, and ready to face the
life.

I have a story bout moon. It is a story written by Jalaluddin Rumi
Mathnavi, titled The Man and The Moon.

*Umar ibn al-Khattab (radiAllahu anhu) was caliph. The month of the
fast had come round. A crowd of people ran to the top of a hill to
draw a good omen from the sight of the crescent moon.

"See, Umar!" cried on. "The new moon!"

Umar did not see any moon in the sky.

"This moon," he remarked to the man, "has risen from your imagination.
Otherwise, how is it that I do not see the pure crescent, seeing that
your hand," he went on, "and rub it on your eyebrow, then take another
look at the moon!"

The man wetted his eyebrow, and no more saw the moon.

"Yes" commented Umar (radiAllahu anhu). "The hair of your eyebrow
became a bow and shot at you and arrow of surmise!"

One hair through becoming crooked had waylaid him completely, so that
he falsly claimed boastfully to have seen the moon. If one croocked
hair can veil the whole sky, how will it be if all your parts are
crooked?*

:)

I think Im sleepy.. Have to wake up early, the workshop will be
started at 8. But not as the last week, tomorrow just until dzuhr,
inshaAllah (hopefully :p).

Errm, I still can taste the cheesy bite bulgogi sauce on my tongue! Hahaha...

Good nite everyone!

Bismillah..
Allahu la ilaha illa Huwa, Al-Haiyul-Qaiyum La ta'khudhuhu sinatun wa
la nawm, lahu man fissamawati wa ma fil-'ard Man dhal-ladhi yashfa'u
'indahu illa bi-idhnihi Ya'lamu ma baina aidihim wa ma khalfahum, wa
la yuhituna bi shai'im-min 'ilmihi illa bima sha'a wasia'a
kursiyuhus-samawati wal ard, wa la ya'uduhu hifduhuma Wa huwal
'Aliyul-Adheem

(Allah! There is no God save Him, the Alive, the Eternal. Neither
slumber nor sleep overtaketh Him. Unto Him belongeth whatsoever is in
the heavens and whatsoever is in the earth. Who is that intercedeth
with Him save by His leave? He knoweth that which is in front of them,
while they encompass nothing of His knowledge save what He will. His
throne includeth the heavens and the earth, and He is never weary of
preserving them. He is the Sublime, the Trememdous [Surah al-Baqarah;
2:255] )

*Whoever reads the above (ayat al-Kursi) when lies down to sleep, will
have a guardian from Allah remain with him and satan will not be able
to come near him until he rises in the mornin.
[Sahih al-Bukhari, cf. Al-Asqalani-Fath al-Bari 4:487]

Bismillah...

Allahumma inni a'udhubika minal hammi wal hazan, wal 'ajzi wal kasal,
wal bukhli wal jubn, wa dhala'id-dayni wa ghalabatir rijaal.

O Allah! I seek refuge in You from grief and sadness, from weakness
and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardice, from being
overcome by debt and from being overpowered by men (other people).
[Sahih al-Bukhari, 7:158].

Assalamualaikum..

Maaan.. I lost count of reciting the dua above! Tomorrow is the last
day of sharia banking course, and I found myself soooooo lazy to
come.. Erk! I dont know why, I dont know why. I really want to go to
the school, because the head teacher of the social and Indonesian
languge class, kak Dian, wanted to talk to me. Yea, Kak Deni text me
and informed me bout that.

"Mba Lalu besok jam 9 dimohon datang ke Hanaeka dan langsung temui kak Dian"

Intermezzo: See, he calls me with my last name! Bwahaha.. It's ok. I
use to. Evryone does that. My family name is unique, isnt it? :p

Back to the topic..

With a weight upon my heart, I replied the text and told that I cant
come. Phew, I dont know what to say. She must be wanted to have kinda
serious matter with me. To be honest, this is my fault coz I forgot to
inform them that the course takes 3 days; July 14, July 15, and July
21.

You know, I my spirit's kinda flagging. Im feel sooo sorry about that.
But I know Allah puts me in this kind of circumstance because He wants
to remind me no to be forgetful and I have to be firmed. Aahh..
There's alaways be hikmah over the happening...

Alhamdulillah, Im moving toward to the changing aka leaving one of my
bad attitudes: felt and acted exaggerated when something bad or wrong
comes up. Alhamdulillah, and I hope this wont fade away. C'mon, Ive
read many Islamic books, Ive read many sisters' blog, Im digging
Islam, so I have to try to be better day in day out. I dont want I do
all those things just for in vain.

I know I have done wrong and I admit I do feel so bad, coz Im the big
contributor in it. But I also really thank Allah for the reminding.
Really, there are so so so many bad things in me that I have to
change.. For my destination is I want to be a true Muslimah...

Assalamualaikum,

For the last few days, I was a bit frustated and kept questioning
'why, why, why, and why?!' I even didnt enjoy the two days sharia
banking course which held at Universitas Ibnu Khaldun. My mind was
parted into two: the course and my career. But the thought bout career
had much much portion in my head, so I couldnt gave a proper attention
at the 1st day of the course. At the first session to be exact. It
made the trainer had to call my name for thrice (that was my mate
informed me). He wanted me to read the hadeeth bout riba. Ha!

Im fine now, finally. After I talked to HIM and re-read the story
which make me feel contented again. Ashamed again, where was my head?
Lol. This is life. It has its own art. Happy, sad me must through all
kinds of situations that it brings. Of course, there must be hikmah
over that.

Well, I want to share the story with you,anyway. Hope it'll brighten
your mind and heart too :)

-Life is Like Baking a Cake-

A little boy is telling his Grandma how "everything" is going wrong.
School, family problems, health problems, problem with friends, etc.
Meanwhild, Grandma is baking a cake. She asks her grandson if he would
like a snack, which, of course, he does.

"Here, have some cooking oil"
"Yuck" says the boy.
"How about a couple raw eggs?"
"Gross, Grandma!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
"Grandma, those are yucky!"

To which Grandma replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by
themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make
a wonderfully delicious cake! God works the same way. Many times we
wonder why HE would let us go thru such bad and difficult times. But
Allah knows that when HE puts these things in HIS order, they always
work for good! We just have to trust HIM and, eventually, they will
make something wonderful!"*

InshaAllah...

For a while I was in gloomy. Always thout that I couldnt in to the
scope that actually - I know it for sure - I have capability in it.
Sometimes, I cant think clearly when the things turn to rush. I must
be patient. Must! Must learn to be patient. Must!

HE knows what's the best for me. Maybe now is not the right time for
me to get a better career, or it could be the career that Im doing now
is good actually, but I just cant see it???

I depend on Allah, for He is As-Baseerul, Sameer-The Seerer, The Hearer.

"And when my servants ask you concerning Me, then surely I am very
near; I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he calls on Me, so
they should answer My call and believe Me that they may walk in the
right way"
[Surah al-Baqarah; 2:186]

She's far away from me, she's not in Indonesia, but she's one of my
trustworthy friends. My beloved Kakak. I just finished reading chapter
1: Multiple Intelligences Theory, of Buku Kerja Multiple
Intellegences, when the feeling to post an entry about a friendship
between me and Kak Noora (isnt her real name) came across my mind.
Time really flies and it reminding me that it has been a year Kak
Noora 'accompanying' me. Altho we never meet, but I always feel like
I've met her. Until now, she's always fones me. Just to say hi or
listen to my blabbin *grin*. Sometimes she tells me bout her four cute
kids and what have happened at the school she's teaching.

I dont want to tell how our friendship began. Pokoknya, she came in my
rush long hours of making the final assignment plus my solitude times
coz my other friends were busy too. I just realised that she always
there thru my thick and thin times. She always gives me support and
gives me advices without acting as if she were my Mama. She acts like
a friend.. a sister who always ready to sheltering her sister from
danger; sad feeling, hopeless, feeling lack of capabilities, etc. And
she's my Agama teacher! Yea, that's true. Tho she doesnt teach me like
both of us in the Agama class, but I've got and dig soo many things
about our faith: Islam. In case there's deficiencies of faith or I do
something wrong, she will gently telling and affectionaly showing me
ways by which these can be remedied.

I ever read that a person has two ways of finding such a friend. One
of these is the way of the Compassionate One, a requirement of
Qur'anic moral values and the path chosen by believers who seek solely
the approval of Allah. The other is the way of friends who seek to
serve only their worldly interests, a path based on advantage.
Of course I'm (and of course you) seeking friends because of the 1st way.

For me, she's the true Muslimah, tho she's always saying that she's
not but always trying to be that one. I wanna be like her. Hope this
friendship wont't fade away, ameen.. Ana uhibbuka fillah ya Ukhti!

Give one another gifts and love one another. Give one antother food.
This will produce breadth in your daily bread [Al-Hafiz ibn al-Dayba
al-Shaybani, Taysir al-'usul ilaJami al-'usul, vol. 16, p. 239].

Two brother are like two hands one of which clears the dust of the
other [Imam Ghazzali, vol.2, p.95].

Im wondering...

Have you ever been wondering about something?

50-50 situation...

You sure you got that thing in your hand, but in the other hand you
feel that you havent that thing.

This is not about the thingy called love tho.

I cant think and cant get up from my bed. My thighs are feel so hurt.
From Saturday and Sunday yesterday I attended sharia banking workshop
and had to sit from 8am until 5.30pm.

hhh..

Sigh..

faint..

Air wudhu telah membasuh bersih diri mu
Bercengkrama dalam khusuk dengan Sang Kekasih
Sebelum kau tidur

Doa kau panjatkan dalam kepasrahan
Di bawah keremangan malam
Angin pun turut berdesau.. ikut terhanyut dalam untain dzikir mu pada Nya
Sebelum kau tidur
Kedua matamu menatap kubah raksasa yg benderang
Dewi malam mulai menanjak perlahan
bersama dengan dayang-dayang yang berkerlap-kerlip genit
menyinari bumi dengan cahaya keperakan
mata mu basah
tak henti kau menyebut nama-nama agung milik-Nya
selalu kau lakukan setiap malam
sebelum kau tidur

Tubuh mu kau baringkan di peraduan
Kau terdiam lalu bergumam penuh kepasrahan
"Dengan nama-Mu ya Allah aku hidup dan dengan nama-Mu aku mati*"
selalu kau ucapkan
sebelum kau tidur

*Doa sebelum tidur [Hr. Bukhari dan Muslim]

Salaam..

Alhamdulillah, Im officially a teacher now in the private school which
(this school) known as a multiple intelligences school. Actually, I
was applied for admin. possition. But something surprising happened in
the last test of the position. It should be an interview but for me it
was kinda a brain storming!

They like the bulletin school that I made. They appreciate the
contents (poem and short story) of the bulletin that were made by me.
From there, the conversation led them to know what's in me.

"You are talented in writing! Why you applied for an admin? You will
do better and your talent will develop if you work as a teacher.
Indonesian language teacher"

I was speechless. Didnt know what to say.

"But my background is economy and I never take teaching class nor have
teaching experience before" I replied finally.

"Do you know, that most of the teachers here dont have teaching either
educational teaching background? We dont make that as the requirement.
All that we need is a high quality teacher who has ability, talent,
and passion in transfering the the ATP that he/she has to the
students"

Speechless. His words touched me.

"How if offering you an Indon. lang. teacher position? Im serious with
the offer"

Immediately, soo many happenings which happened to me lately,
scattering inside my head. Until finally I said 'yes'.

Why?

Because I think this is HIS answer for all my prayers related with the
career. MashaAllah, I lately realized that He made evrythng so easy.
HE knows what I really want. HE knows in what kind of work and
situation I can developing both of my career and my personal
abilities. HE is the one and only who really knows what we human being
dont know.

I fall in love with the school at the first time I entered the gate. I
do thankful to HIM coz I meet people who can see what's in me and
understand me.

Going to start teaching on Monday. And as the new teacher, I teach
'the special students with the special treatment' (autis and
hyperactive children). The school accepts that kind of children too.

The other thing I love from this school is, they believe that every
kid is bright tho they bright in different scopes. They acknowledge
that there are seven kinds of intelegences:
kecerdasan linguistik
kecerdasan logis-matematis
kecerdasan spasial
kecerdasan musikal
kecerdasan kinestetik
kecerdasan interpersonal
kecerdasan intrapersonal.

MashaAllah...

There is no one who was born to be a stupid person.

Ya Allah..
inikah jawab Mu atas doa-doaku?
inikah tempatku, tempat ku seharusnya berada

Ya Allah..
Betapa wajah-wajah polos itu menyambutku hangat
bagai mentari pagi menghangatkan bumi
betapa sorot mata mereka meneduhkan hatiku
seperti pohon rindang yang menaungi musafir yang kepayahan

Celoteh riang mereka mengingatkanku pada gemintang
genit
ramai
lucu
penuh warna

Suara mereka menyegarkan
berlagu bagai riak-riak tawa anak sungai

Allah..
inikah jawaban Mu?

Sesungguhnya, ku serahkan semua pada Mu

Salaam...

Whoa, Im back! I wasnt going anywhere actually, I still (seldom) look
after this blog while 'busy' with another blog. LOL.

Anyway, I do miss blogging here. I think Im goin to make some touches
again, I dont think to change the theme tho.

No proper post today.. I dont know later if I change my mind. Ew, I
dont feel like blogging. So many stories inside my head that I want to
share, but have to keep them for a while.

Well, Ok.. For this one I want to tell that I met my old friend,
Shareefa and Adhiya, a few days ago. Happy happy happy..! Both are
Gigi's cousins-Gigi is my best friend too. She is a Mama now. Miss her
so much. Dont meet her again since she moved to UK 3 years ago, sniff.

Adhiya now is a hijabi (alhamdulillah..) We had a good time. Spent the
day at Botani Square; chatting and eating at Pizza Pizzas, bought some
books at Gramedia, chatting and eating at Mr Bakso, then went to Dunia
Kerudung, Adhiya bought jilbab/veils there.

I couldnt stop cast a glance at her. Im happy coz that tomboy cutie
girl now is a hijabi. Alhamdulillah He gave her hidayah.

You know, I felt like ABG (Anak Baru Gede) again at that day.. I know
they felt the same way too. Obviously seen when Shareefa told me and
Adhiya,

"Gee, I dont think Im 25! We did this when you both were in a senior
high school!"

Hhh.. Shareefa acted like a 'mom' again! ("Not mom, but nanny!" said
Adhiya. Hahaha..)

Tho we were not going to the same school and have different age too
(Shareefa is two years elder than me and Adhiya)

Somehow, we felt empty coz Gigi wasnt there with us. She's busy with
her postgraduate days in the university plus her obligation as a wife
and a mother of cute little boy named Salman.

Salute to Gigi, coz in her young age she can do the duties as a
student, a wife, and a mother. Hope Allah always gives her and her
little family, strength for facing this life. Ameen..

Shareefa and Adhiya will go back again to Germany this Thursday, insha
Allah. We plan to meet up again before they go.

Sigh.. I'll be 'alone' again. Feels like just yesterday I still had
my best trustworthy friends: Coky, Ojie, Uuth, Salmah, Shareefa, Gigi,
and Adhiya. But the reality slapped me that we are now have a life of
our own.

That's life yaa..

Ok, Im stop blabbing now hahaha..

Welcomeback to meeee..! :D

Alhamdulillah, makasih :)