Really, I dont feel I have objectives in my life. Ever been in this
kind of situation before but I forget what does it feel before.. I
forget how could I handle the situation and could through savely.. In
fact Im still exist and health, alhamdulillah. But the worst situation
is now attack me again. Im perfectly sad and totally dont have any
idea what to do. Sometimes I feel that Im weak, just like now. Really
weak as I feel dont know what to do and lost motivation.

Sometimes, I want to hide from the dearest. Run away from him. You
know, in this situation like this I feel sooo ashamed to meet even to
talk by phone to the great people such as him and my best friends.
Especially the dearest, I do ashamed to talk bout this again to him.
He says it's fine. That's what one of the uses of his existing in my
life. But, I cant! One of my bestfriend has just sent me text. She
said that I should apply to Ernst & Young as a junior auditor. light!
But it starts a new thing to be contemplated by me again. Argh, what
happened with me actually?! What a heck! Seems I cannot read and
understand what my logic's saying.

Astagfirullah...