Bismillah...

Allahumma inni a'udhubika minal hammi wal hazan, wal 'ajzi wal kasal,
wal bukhli wal jubn, wa dhala'id-dayni wa ghalabatir rijaal.

O Allah! I seek refuge in You from grief and sadness, from weakness
and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardice, from being
overcome by debt and from being overpowered by men (other people).
[Sahih al-Bukhari, 7:158].

Assalamualaikum..

Maaan.. I lost count of reciting the dua above! Tomorrow is the last
day of sharia banking course, and I found myself soooooo lazy to
come.. Erk! I dont know why, I dont know why. I really want to go to
the school, because the head teacher of the social and Indonesian
languge class, kak Dian, wanted to talk to me. Yea, Kak Deni text me
and informed me bout that.

"Mba Lalu besok jam 9 dimohon datang ke Hanaeka dan langsung temui kak Dian"

Intermezzo: See, he calls me with my last name! Bwahaha.. It's ok. I
use to. Evryone does that. My family name is unique, isnt it? :p

Back to the topic..

With a weight upon my heart, I replied the text and told that I cant
come. Phew, I dont know what to say. She must be wanted to have kinda
serious matter with me. To be honest, this is my fault coz I forgot to
inform them that the course takes 3 days; July 14, July 15, and July
21.

You know, I my spirit's kinda flagging. Im feel sooo sorry about that.
But I know Allah puts me in this kind of circumstance because He wants
to remind me no to be forgetful and I have to be firmed. Aahh..
There's alaways be hikmah over the happening...

Alhamdulillah, Im moving toward to the changing aka leaving one of my
bad attitudes: felt and acted exaggerated when something bad or wrong
comes up. Alhamdulillah, and I hope this wont fade away. C'mon, Ive
read many Islamic books, Ive read many sisters' blog, Im digging
Islam, so I have to try to be better day in day out. I dont want I do
all those things just for in vain.

I know I have done wrong and I admit I do feel so bad, coz Im the big
contributor in it. But I also really thank Allah for the reminding.
Really, there are so so so many bad things in me that I have to
change.. For my destination is I want to be a true Muslimah...